Either you are for me or you're against me!

Life is full of confusion. Confusion of love, passion, and romance. Confusion of family and friends. Confusion with life itself. What path we take, what turns we make. How we roll our dice. ~ Matthew Underwood

Admittedly, we have no clue who Matthew Underwood is… but we like his quote. It is crazy looking back on the decisions we’ve made, the paths we’ve taken, and the friends we find along those paths. There are two types of family: the one you are born into and the friends you choose for life. For us, both have been amazing supporters. We’re not going to pretend we’ve run into a roadblock on our dream due to family and friends — we haven’t. Do we get the “you’re crazy” in a good-humor way? Of course. But love us they do.

That said, we hear all the time from people that their family isn’t supportive of their dream. Too risky. Too selfish. Too ___________ (fill in your blank). What’s even worse than family and friends not supporting you is when your significant other — your partner in life, for better or worse — has zero desire to fulfill the dream. So how do you work through these roadblocks? You can run right through them, leaving destruction in your wake. But this is a no-wake-zone area, so let’s try not to do that.

Friends are the easiest to work through, so let’s start there. A good friend wants what is best for you. If you really trust them and believe they have your best interest in mind, listen. Hear what concerns them. Maybe it is legitimate. You know yourself better than anyone. If you feel prepared for this adventure and comfortable with the risks (financial, physical, mental, life/death) and your friends just continue to disagree, maybe they are being selfish and want you to stay around for them, not for you. Those who believe in you and know this dream is worth fulfilling — invite them on as crew.

Family are a bit harder. You’ve grown up with them. They’ve seen you at your best and your worst. Family are hard to leave behind, even with the notion you’ll be back to visit. For us, it was leaving our parents behind — all at an age where time is borrowed according to statistics. Leaving them to chase this dream can feel selfish. Leaving a sibling more of the caretaking can feel unfair. And yet, we still did it. How? Why? In talking with Dave’s mom, she said: “I’ve lived my life, go live yours. What an amazing experience for your daughter.” The truth is, even though she was 88 then, she could live to 98. Do we wait 10 more years? If so, our daughter is off on her own with less interest in sailing with mom and dad. And Beth’s parents were slightly younger and healthier… The point: there is no perfect time other than now. For us, we had a small window of Landon doing this with us before college — so the decision was easier, but not easy.

Partners. We’re not going to pretend every couple is alike. Dave and Beth have been very aligned on sailing as much of the world as we can and want. Dave may have been bitten by “the bug” earlier or a bit deeper; Beth is no less all-in on getting out there. Were there compromises? Of course. That is what relationships are about. If your partner does not want to sail around the world, discuss compromises. If they don’t want to get on a boat at all, maybe a small boat you can single-hand on weekends. If they’re willing to get on the water but want to stay near home/family, something more comfortable for a month here and there — then extend when the time is right. If living aboard sounds like torture, show them a catamaran. If you love each other, you compromise. You don’t destroy what the other person wants — you figure out how to make both things work.

We’ll say something a bit controversial: if friends, family, and spouse do not support your dream, it may be time to look in the mirror. If you’ve been living right and preparing right, people often come around to the vision — and even want to be part of it. You own your outcome — including how you bring people with you.

And that is what excites us most for the journey — sharing it with you.

— Dave & Beth